The interesting part of a late in life diagnosis is I look back on my life and go: “well that now makes sense!” Simple events like the birthdays I forgot, the fact I wrote my university dissertation two days before it was due and that I am late to most appointments outside of work pretty much without fail… but with an ADHD lens it gives me a new sense of clarity as to why. At the age of 16 I was given the feedback on a school report that referred to “great potential” with the caveat that “she must be more organised in respect to her work deadlines and ensure work is punctually submitted” in order to meet said potential. The theme throughout my A-level reports was an inability to chunk work down, meet deadlines and organise myself. At work I have been on more time management courses then I dare remember; it’s likely I have had more conversations about prioritisation (often due to feeling overwhelmed) then the person sat next to me; and sometimes work has not been delivered unless someone has reminded me. Typical ADHD – if only I’d known.
As anyone that learns at age 42 they have ADHD, hyper focus into what ADHD is and how it shows up is the most consuming part of pre- and post- diagnosis. I have literally lost hours of my life reading, listening to podcasts and talking to others about ADHD. With that knowledge I can start to unpick the why. And people with ADHD generally like to understand the why… Often the stories I tell myself about why I can’t do the simplest of things that others can, are never positive and create a negative narrative about my own ability in in my head. This is where the ADHD diagnosis can be extremely useful. It turns that narrative in to an explanation, which means maybe I could just give myself a bit of a break. Maybe I am not as useless as I can tell myself, because there is a reason I can’t do these simple things.
The challenges I have described above in part, relate to time blindness – a unique characteristic shared by many who have ADHD. Time blindness refers to a lack of any concept of time – yes, this really is a thing! Ten minutes to me means very little, as a work colleague found out recently when agreeing to meet me in ten minutes and twenty minutes later, I showed up… I had no idea I was late, and she was baffled as to how I could not have realised. I didn’t realise as I hadn’t checked the time when we spoke and as such, I left it to my brain to guess. Never a good idea!
My time blindness shows up in my work everyday and everything from understanding how long a task might take to complete, waiting until the last minute to complete a deadline (and often working into the night to meet said deadline!), the ability to say no – without realising how much I have on, and how long what I do have on will take, to whether or not I turn up for a meeting. Over the years unknowingly I have created strategies to help support across these areas – some useful, some less so. But often my biggest challenge is trying to communicate what does and doesn’t work for someone with ADHD – whilst trying to figure it out myself.
These are my reflections on some of my own personal experience of time blindness, which may help, if you are supporting someone at work that has ADHD:
1. Set a deadline. Having an open ended, “in the next few weeks”, is not helpful for an individual who is time blind. A specific date of when a project or task needs to be delivered is always without doubt the best approach.
2. Be specific about what is expected of the individual to meet the deadline. Avoid being too vague about what you would like delivered. What doesn’t help time blindness or an ADHD brain with lots of ideas is a completely open brief if a deadline is important.
3. Chunk up projects. If needed, help with dividing a project into small manageable chunks. I know it seems straight forward, but one of the biggest challenges with ADHD at work, is an inability to be able to do this. Chunking a project and setting milestone targets can be helpful.
4. Be clear about priorities. I love my brain, but when I say it can go off on a tangent, the scale of this tangent is sometimes extreme. (It is also what makes my brain pretty special – but for work that needs to just get done – it needs reining in!)
5. Sense check workload. With no concept of time, or knowing how long something might take, the challenge is not saying yes to all the exciting new opportunities that might interest a person. This is often were overwhelm sets in!
6. Thinking space. Priorities are important but also allow time and space for the thinking, the tangent conversations, the random ideas, as this is where the magic happens. ADHD brains think different, see problems differently, come up with different solutions – it’s where our brains love to be and freedom to explore and our ideas heard can be the difference between a happy and unhappy employee.
7. Set and respect focused work time. I love to be busy, but because I love variety and people, I find it incredible hard to schedule in time to actually do the work. Chunks of focus time are important. Switching between tasks can sometimes be challenging if neurodivergent so blocked out time to “work” is really useful! (it is also good from a wellbeing perspective to avoid too many late nights trying to get the work done).
8. Training and systems. Don’t suggest time management training, unless Neurodivergent specific. Or your own systems – unless you have ADHD. I need a strategy to get a job I find hard done or to manage multiple priorities at work and home. I can’t fix my brain; I don’t need a training course on time management. I need to identify my own way to attempt to manage time. I can’t tell you how many apps and paper planners/to do lists and diaries I have tried over the years to help me manage my time that don’t work. They currently lie untouched with two pages filled in and huge pile of guilt over the trees cut down and money wasted. It will be trial and error and may include testing many ways of scheduling tasks. I try something new frequently! I still don’t have a perfect solution – but I am working on it. ADHD brains get bored… we like to mix things up, change things, make things more efficient, if it means it is easier!
9. Forgive lateness to begin with. And get some coaching support for the person, if it continues. I am not late for meetings at work generally – but the way I do that is to sit glued to my chair waiting for a notification to ping… Not ideal. I am working on solutions for this including actually sitting and looking through my diary at the start of the day to identify gaps I do have. If I do get up, I do worry I will not get back in time… because I will have no idea how long I’ve been away! I haven’t tried setting a timer yet, but I know people do, and this could help. And yes, it really is that bad…
10. Help manage meeting time. With no concept of time, and an ability to talk a lot and go off track – structure in meetings is good. Don’t be afraid to bring the meeting back on track if needed and ensure, as one of my colleagues always does, next steps are discussed. If I am going off track or lose track of time in a meeting, it is ok to bring me back… But do it nicely. And remember my brain can’t help it!
Everyone’s experience of ADHD is different, so some of the above may help, it may not! For me, the most important part to working with someone who is neurodivergent is clear communication and providing a supportive environment to be able to talk through their individual challenges. And be patient. There is often an expectation that we have all the answers as to what might help, more often than not, we don’t. The question is not "what do you need?", but "how do we work together to figure this out?" Individuals with ADHD are trying to work in a neurotypical world where we are taught or see people using systems to manage time that simply don’t always work for us. Understanding ADHD and time blindness means I now understand that this isn’t a training issue, or a capability issue, or a me not trying hard enough issue, I simply have a brain that doesn’t work well with time in a work world where time is pretty important. Knowing this now, means I can work with my brain, not against it.
