It was a seven-hour car journey with my sister and brother in law that first sparked the conversation about elephants. They are in the process of buying a new house and the size of the task to sort years of belongings prior to the move was causing an element of overwhelm. “How do you eat an elephant?” I asked, followed with bemused responses as to why elephants were relevant. My reply: “Elephants are best eaten one bite at a time!”
I have since found out that whilst this was once quoted by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, it is originally an old African Proverb. It provides a great analogy for dividing a large project or task into manageable chunks. However, as often with the advice I find myself giving, I find it challenging applying it to my own ADHD brain. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (or ADHD) is a medically diagnosed cognitive variation in brain function that results in cognitive challenges in areas such as executive functioning, working memory, emotional regulation, and motivation to name a few. “Eating an elephant” is a challenge for me, and this is why.
Do I like the elephant?
Projects and tasks that spark interest, are challenging in a good way or align with my purpose are the ones I am naturally drawn to and will do my best work. For me it is around problem solving, learning something new, or a task that I feel passionate about because it aligns to my own personal values or beliefs. I am a divergent thinker – I love lots of ideas and searching for solutions. In a work context, I will always be more drawn to the tasks and projects that tick these boxes. However, not everything I get asked to do falls into these boxes, and this is where my ADHD brain makes life more challenging.
If the motivation for the task is lacking, I can find it impossible to start. It doesn’t matter how simple the task could be, I get stuck procrastinating about taking the first step. It is quite literally like I have three-year-old toddler in my head yelling at full volume “I don’t want too!” and yes, they are lying on the floor with arms and legs flailing. There are chemical reasons for this inability to get interested – an ADHD brain has a deficiency in dopamine – I will seek out activities that increase dopamine levels. If the activity is not going to increase dopamine, it’s harder to get motivated. The fear of not doing it, and the consequences of this, is eventually what will get me started – but it will often be after many wasted hours thinking about it – and then finally getting it done as close to the deadline as possible. If I don’t like the elephant, it will be harder for me to take the first bite, let alone finish it!
I like the elephant, but it is so big!
So the project I have been asked to complete sparks joy, I am motivated and ready to start eating, but I still can’t get started. ADHD results in challenges around planning and organisation. Breaking the task/activity into manageable chunks, ordering them into a logical process and allocating time to each task can cause difficulties for an ADHD brain.
This lack of planning and organisation is due to the executive functioning in the brain being less reliable compared to an individual who is Neurotypical. Working memory (part of our executive function) allows an individual to recall all the steps required to complete a task and decide an order for these steps, when working memory is poor this may result in missing steps completely. A recent example is I am working on an upcoming event, I know there are a number of steps that need completing and I am focused on those that are either more urgent or more interesting. The other items I know I have to do, but I can’t recall what they are and my brain is telling me that because they don’t fall in either of the above two categories, I have time. And this is where my brain laughs at me again because…
The concept of time is frequently a challenge for those with ADHD – being able to estimate how long a task will take or understanding how long something has taken is not something I can do well. This is known as time blindness. I am notoriously well known for being late outside of work because I will tell myself I need to leave in five minutes for an appointment in 10 mins time, and in that five minutes I also believe I can empty the dishwasher, put on a load of washing, scroll LinkedIn, write a thesis, and also make the ten minute journey to my destination?!! Writing this I know how illogical it sounds - but I work in the now, time is something that happens around me, I lose it frequently.
At work, I function because of the calendar reminders that pop up on my screen to remind me to attend a meeting. If I miss one, I will most likely be the person that is apologising at five minutes past the start of the meeting as I suddenly notice the actual time. So when breaking down a project into steps – I won’t be able to estimate how long a task may take me, or indeed remember when to do it if it’s not urgent or interesting, that’s assuming I remember it at all. What do they say about elephants never forgetting? Something us ADHDer’s do not have in common with elephants.
The elephant is interesting….. but I’ve still not finished it?!
No elephant, project or task is wholly interesting… Getting part way through boredom kicks in, motivation wanes, the interesting parts are complete, and my brain moves on. It gets distracted by the next new shiny thing, or indeed anything that is not what I am being asked to do, seeking out the next dopamine hit... Using the Belbin term - I am not a completer- finisher!
This doesn’t mean I never I finish a task, I do, I finish many tasks. However the motivation to do so is often from fear of consequence – either I have to as it relates to my role and is expected of me, or that someone might see in me in a negative way – Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and ADHD is a blog in itself! Those with ADHD frequently demand excellence, both of themselves and others, so as a task is nearing completion (by this I mean the deadline is approaching in the next five minutes, or someone is starting to get agitated that it’s still not done!) I will push through or better still delegate. However, those last few tasks are hard, and don’t bring the jubilation of getting something done that others may experience. I simply do not subscribe to the notion of finishing everything on my plate when it comes to elephants.
So how does someone with ADHD eat an elephant?
Whilst ADHD has challenges on how the brain functions compared to someone who is Neurotypical, it has no direct impact on intelligence. So, in my case you have someone who is incredibly capable in some areas but less so in others due to how my brain is wired. This is often referred to as a spiky profile. Over time I have taught myself support mechanisms to help ensure I can structure and get a task complete regardless of whether I enjoy it. There are times when I visibly recoil in horror over something I am asked to do as I know just how hard my brain will find what is being asked of me (hiding emotion is not easy for us ADHDer’s either!).
Where possible at work, I try and communicate the challenges I face and delegate items that may be important to others, particularly when I have the potential to miss something important and as such I am simply not the best person to do it. However, this self-awareness and the confidence to communicate this has taken time as well as an understanding of my Neurodivergent condition. It is hard to admit in a work environment that I am not good at a task, when the emphasis is frequently on exceptional "well rounded" performance and when my own brain is also focused on delivering excellence at all times. For years, masking that I was indeed capable of everything had consequences on my own wellbeing and mental health - late nights spent trying to do the tasks I found most challenging, feeling constantly exhausted and stuck wondering why I was struggling to get done what others did so easily – all whilst pretending I was ok.
So how does someone with ADHD eat an elephant? Actually, I believe the question is a slightly different one to where we started… Where are my skills best utilised with elephants, tasks, and projects? My brain’s strengths are with designing the elephant, coming up with ideas as to what we need the elephant to do or be (hmmmm, a colourful Elmer who can fly?!), connecting people to make the elephant a success, providing direction and leadership and asking the challenging questions regarding the elephant and then getting the help I need to deliver the elephant. Wanted: One large Elephant crate – also known as a brilliant team who love detail, planning and keeping me on track - also must be able to tell the time.
Maybe the answer to how do you eat an elephant is simply: "by not being expected to eat the whole elephant alone. Elephants are pretty big after all!” By chunking up a project or task into activities that focuses on the individual’s strengths in the team means the outcome will also be a better one, both for the organisation and the individual, regardless of whether they are neurodivergent or not.
Please note: No elephants were harmed in the writing of this blog post. Elephants are in fact my favourite animal, and I would be incredibly unhappy if anyone decided to eat one. Please don’t.
