When I was ten I used to spend hours hyperfocusing on designing houses. Not the look of a house either internally or externally but the floor plans! I would consider the amount of bedrooms, room sizes, kitchen in relation to living space, door placement and maximising the views of external spaces. This unusual hobby, led to a brief desire to be an architect and at GCSE I actually went on to do design, technology and the built environment - when I learnt a lot of designing houses was about ensuring a number of boxes were ticked including things that didn’t spark excitement such as cavity walls, insulation and drainage! I dislike ticking boxes. The appeal of floor plans was I could be creative without the need to be able to draw… I can’t draw particularly well, but I can re-imagine a space… and still now my husband’s patience is constantly tested when I come up with the latest suggestion on how we could tweak our home. (Tweak equals knock down a wall or move!!)
When I consider my ADHD brain, it’s at its happiest when designing. Looking back at my career design is not a word I would have readily plucked from a list, but reflecting on what I love to do - designing captures it perfectly. My brain loves a blank piece of paper, a process that is inefficient, a group of people disconnected, and the ability to ask questions, unpick the challenges and then stitch it all back together again… to rebuild… it’s not coming up with something new and shiny, but using what is there to recreate something that simply works better. This time last year, it’s exactly the process we went through with our approach to recruitment… realising it could be better, collaborating with the experts (recruitment team) and leveraging the constant feedback of those it impacted (Neurodivergent individuals). The output wasn’t rocket science, in fact the changes were simple and sometimes obvious - but different enough from the way we usually do it to win an award externally for innovation.
Designing, tweaking, rethinking, improving processes provides me with dopamine. (I obviously leave the implementing, planning and detail to someone else… !) I thrive in an environment where my brain is constantly challenged to think differently or is required to persuade others to think differently. And with ADHD, that need for dopamine is of upmost importance in a job as an ADHD brain doesn’t produce sufficient amounts. Dopamine is a chemical produced by the brain and is linked to motivation and reward driven behaviours. When an ADHD brain is challenged in the right way at work it can produce outstanding results both for an organisation and for the individual. For me, what motivates me at work is the desire to exceed expectations, to change something, to transform something - whether that is a process or someone’s way of thinking about that process. This produces the dopamine my brain needs to be ok.
I use the word ok for a reason… because when you are deficient in something it’s all about rising levels to that of a non deficient person… with ADHD you are starting from a lower base point so that need to find dopamine producing activities becomes even more important. Work is a place many of us spend most of our weeks, work therefore becomes intrinsically entwined with how someone experiences life. Being happy and fulfilled at work impacts life outside of work and visa versa. The challenge for someone with ADHD is that when work doesn’t provide the necessary dopamine it can have a detrimental effect on a person’s mental health. It’s a common stereotype of the ADHD brain that we chase the new and shiny, that we get easily distracted but the reasons for this are very much biological. Low levels of dopamine not only impact concentration and motivation, but are also linked to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, a loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities and over a sustained period of time depression.
As someone who has found myself in dips due to feeling out of control over how my brain is challenged at work, I fully understand the bold statement that “boredom for someone who is neurodivergent can be life threatening.” Fortunately, I now recognise these dips now for what they are and where they come from. I also am lucky enough to have those around me that continue to be understanding when I have a dip and support me as I work my way out of it. I always do work my way out of it.
An area I advocate for incessantly at work is being able to articulate strengths but to also understand challenges and what support is needed for those challenges. I have been fortunate enough for a lot of my career to work for those who have recognised where I thrive, have noticed when I’m getting bored and have been able to redirect me. In almost ten years at EY, I’ve changed roles every 18 months or so, I may not have left a department, but I’ve been asked to focus on something new! This redirection has kept me loyal. Having an ADHD diagnosis has helped me understand the importance of this redirection, and how I can now start to support myself when the “new and shiny” wears off. The power for me is understanding the why, and where my strengths are and the support I need for challenges, and this will hopefully mean the dips become fewer.
In the meantime, my boredom busting brain has turned its focus to the garden - with the addition of a puppy this January, a new fence was erected to keep her contained and it’s created a bit of a blank canvas for me to consider… the challenge is there are so many ideas, it’s picking one and sticking to it… and then obviously finding someone else to do the work! Hopefully the sun makes a reappearance whilst I ponder.
About me - I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 42 after years of being capable in many areas but struggling with others, which resulted in getting stuck in a cycle of anxiety and burning out… my ADHD diagnosis gave me instant relief that there was an explanation, but the journey now is one of learning and self-discovery of what does it mean to me and those around me – both at work and at home. These ramblings are what I am learning as I go, and I write to let you into the world of ADHD and work through my own lived experience and to provide hope that it is both possible to be Neurodivergent and successful – from now on for me, with the mask off.
